Recently, things have been great. I have a fantastic boyfriend, a job that I love, a supportive set of friends, I'm learning to drive and have recently bought a car. Yet, at first I wanted to run away from it all, I felt that I didn't deserve any of that, like it wasn't supposed to be happening to me.
I guess a lot of this has come from a lack of self believe from a young age. Always being shocked when I achieved something or got a good result, waiting for something bad to happen again as soon as things turned good, being scared of the good. I've slowly had to accept that good things do happen, rewards do exist and they happen due to determination and hard work.
With an attitude like this it's probably natural to wonder if I can ever be truly happy and I have wondered this myself. If I feel on edge at the best of times, can true happiness exist? I believe it can , I believe that I am truly happy but before happiness there has to be acceptance.
Accept the good with open arms and deal with the bad as it comes, accept that there is nothing to be afraid of and that in every life there will be a sequence of good and bad events that need to be embraced.
"To live would be an awfully big adventure " - Peter Pan