When I was a child my Dad would make up a bedtime story every night before bed. It would always start by asking me if I wanted to go through the pink gate or the blue gate and the gate that I chose would determine the story. It wasn't until I was much older that I realised that in reality, it wouldn't matter what gate I chose, the story would be the same. This led to me developing a philosophy, that maybe life was a little bit like this too.
We spend so much of our lives working, trying to prepare or earn something that might already be predetermined. We prepare for a job interview when the perfect job might be just around the corner. We wonder why things don't always go to plan but eventually we see that everything falls into place. Everything works out in the end, perhaps not always the way we'd first planned it, but the way it was meant to be.
Last year I worked and revised almost solidly for my AS levels and the results didn't reflect the effort that I had made. This year, although I did revise, I took a more relaxed approach, I made sure that I had time to enjoy myself and that my life wasn't concentrated around a schedule of revision, I even left school a week early to go on holiday and I did a lot better. I re-sat one of my AS levels this year as well as doing my A levels and I went from a U in the exam to an A. Perhaps, last year was a lesson, this year was the reward that happens when you realise that exams are not the end of the world.
I've always been known to overthink and analyse too much but slowly I think I am learning to relax and let life fall into place. At the age of 18 I have 8 GCSE's, 6 A levels, a supportive family, a good job, a fantastic boyfriend and I'm learning to drive. Things that I hoped to achieve but never expected to. If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be that everything will fall into place in the end, things will work out and get better.
Going back to my first point about gate, perhaps it doesn't matter. We worry to much about the choices we make when the outcomes could be the same. Life is about taking a risk, what will be will be.